haven't checked in here for aaages, hence the very belated reply. sorry bout that.
anyhoo, i can definitely relate. it's something i'm struggling with right now, in fact, as you can probably tell. but you (and i) are viewing it wrong. i have *never*, even before i got to know you properly, thought of you as a victim or pathetic. now i know i don't get to see or hear most of the stuff you say, think or do in the privacy of your non-blogged life but i think i know you well enough to say that you are a strong person, even if you don't see it yourself. and what the fuck are friends for if not to talk over your problems with? fuck's sake, m'love, i know the usual social contract is to laugh off your cares and reply with the "yeah, i'm fine. you?" pleasantries but don't ever feel you have to do that with me. don't make me pull my stern face. it's embarrassing for me.
but the main force of this exceptionally verbose comment is to say that you shouldn't do the self-deprecating thing. i know how easy it is to fall into that trap, but describing it as "whinging" only reinforces your "patheticness" in your own mind. you are not pathetic, so don't paint yourself that way. if you're in general chat, use neutral language. if you're in a private chat with a friend, don't lie. say you feel crap. as you have told me countless times over the years, your friends are there to support you and they can't do that without all the facts.
i have a feeling this is entirely pointless and that i've missed the point of the original post but when did i ever pass up the chance to have a mini-rant and say i love you? :D
love you. and no more thinking you're pathetic. you're awesome. true fact. short of you beating up grannies and declaring war on puppies (kittens, on the other hand... i could live with that ;)), nothing will convince me otherwise [::]
haven't checked in here for aaages, hence the very belated reply. sorry bout that.
ReplyDeleteanyhoo, i can definitely relate. it's something i'm struggling with right now, in fact, as you can probably tell. but you (and i) are viewing it wrong. i have *never*, even before i got to know you properly, thought of you as a victim or pathetic. now i know i don't get to see or hear most of the stuff you say, think or do in the privacy of your non-blogged life but i think i know you well enough to say that you are a strong person, even if you don't see it yourself. and what the fuck are friends for if not to talk over your problems with? fuck's sake, m'love, i know the usual social contract is to laugh off your cares and reply with the "yeah, i'm fine. you?" pleasantries but don't ever feel you have to do that with me. don't make me pull my stern face. it's embarrassing for me.
but the main force of this exceptionally verbose comment is to say that you shouldn't do the self-deprecating thing. i know how easy it is to fall into that trap, but describing it as "whinging" only reinforces your "patheticness" in your own mind. you are not pathetic, so don't paint yourself that way. if you're in general chat, use neutral language. if you're in a private chat with a friend, don't lie. say you feel crap. as you have told me countless times over the years, your friends are there to support you and they can't do that without all the facts.
i have a feeling this is entirely pointless and that i've missed the point of the original post but when did i ever pass up the chance to have a mini-rant and say i love you? :D
love you. and no more thinking you're pathetic. you're awesome. true fact. short of you beating up grannies and declaring war on puppies (kittens, on the other hand... i could live with that ;)), nothing will convince me otherwise [::]